Tuesday, May 24, 2011

FYI: Paperwork

I'm sifting through the mounds (mounds, I tell you) of paperwork we've been accumulating for the last several weeks as we collect warranties and installation guides and utility bills and coupons and flyers and, oh gosh - it's incredible.

Here are a few things I've gleaned tonight:

1. Our fridge has a Sabbath Mode. Not a joke. Sabbath. Mode. Apparently in this mode, several components of the refrigerator are shut off in compliance with the Orthodox Jew religious requirements. a) who knew? b) our fridge is kosher. Rock on.

2. You can pay your power bill at a myriad of convenient locations (cash, check or money order). Just a few of the 40+ acceptable locations: Bill's Gamblin Hall & Saloon. Mercado De Alegria. Sunset Market Bait & Tackle. Super Azteca Mini Mart. Envia Dinero Express. Las Palmas Liquor. And most Smiths' and Albertsons'. Not joking.

3. We've been instructed (and I quote from pg 3 of All about the Use & Care of your Dryer) "Do not use fabric softeners or products to eliminate static unless recommended by the manufacturer of the fabric softener or product." (wha?)

4. If you set up bi-weekly mortgage payments (no upfront fee!), you can eliminate an average of 6-10 years and $30,000+ in interest charges from your loan. This, actually, is something we're considering. We already pay more than the required minimum for our car payment (and they've literally stopped sending us bills - please don't give us any more money right now, thx) so this could work out well.

5. Sign up for Paperless Billing! Convenient, fast, save trees - what's not to love? Most pay online systems are free - but, as I've recently discovered, some very sneakily don't mention until the very. last. step. that "ohandthere'sa$12.35feeforeachandevery
onlinepaymentyou'llevermake." Seriously? You save boatloads of money by not sending me a paper bill and you're going to charge me an outrageous fee to do so? Kidding, right? Unfortunately no. Allrightythen, send me the paper bill and I'll send you a paper check. Damn the trees; they're a renewable resource anyway.

ahem. Please pardon the snarkiness. It's late. And I've spent all evening schlepping through mounds (mounds, I tell you) of paperwork. A little snarkiness is to be expected, yes?

*image from here

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