Saturday, February 28, 2009

An Old Gem

Jordan found an old email in his archives tonight. Forwarded it to me. Written just (literally just) before he got home from Italy (fall 2004) - by me.

Impressions as I read this:

1. It reads like I'm talking a mile a minute (which I undoubtedly would have been doing had I actually been speaking)

2. The post script is almost as long as the body of the letter (sometimes I just can't shut up)

3. Though my plate was full and ultra-time-consuming, there's this air of carefree-ness and aloofness that I wish (oh how I wish) I could adopt again; but I think it's just an early-twenties (though in my case, mid-twenties) college thing.

4. Even though it's obviously a very quickly written email, there's still some surprisingly farsighted insight there (are you enjoying how I'm referring to this as though it was written by a completely different person? Quite frankly, she was different. And I think admire her (and envy her) just a little bit too.)

Here's a snippet:

I realize over and over again how much more I wish I could write - conversations, observations, thoughts, descriptions, goals, dreams, worries and fears. There just isn't the time to write it all down and if I don't do it immediately, it vanishes... I've been excited lately for when I can leaf through the chronicles of heaven (you know, the ones the angels are writing) of my life and remember all the little silly things that I just couldn't write down. I'm preparing a talk and a lesson for tomorrow (I'm the girl you call when at the last minute you realize you don't have anyone to speak in sacrament meeting (so we'll give her 20 minutes) and the girl who was going to teach Relief Society can't, so... I love being that girl.) and was leafing through some of the notebooks I kept during the mission - not the journal, but the learning notebooks. O so beautiful those words that capture the expanse and the growth. It's incredible. I feel like I can never write enough.

And you know, I still feel the same. Maybe that's why I've picked up blogging and that somehow, now I feel just a little bit more complete.

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